Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Soul Care Issue #1: I want what I cannot have

Care of the soul is essential for Christian leaders and we nurture others but often neglect our own soul needs. Here is one significant soulcare issue for me. I want what I cannot have. Desiring what I cannot have leads to sinful choices and significant conflict in my relationships.

The Preacher also experienced this. Ecclesiastes 2:10 – ff: Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure. For my heart rejoiced in all my labor; and this was my reward from all my labor. He could have whatever he wanted and his experience is an example of entitlement thinking.

In his book, Steering Clear, Earl Wilson observed that entitlement thinking usually begins with a simple thought. I deserve to be able to do this. He noted that this justification takes either a positive or negative bent; I deserve this because I have done so much good (positive entitlement), or I deserve this because I have been treated so poorly (negative entitlement). Entitlement is a deep-seated belief that I am special and above the rules, and also that I should be treated as special and should never have to endure hardships that others endure. As a character issue, entitlement falls somewhere between selfishness and arrogance. Simply stated, entitlement includes giving yourself permission to do things that will bring great harm to God, to those you love and to yourself. (Steering Clear: Avoiding the Slippery Slope to Moral Failure. Downers Grove: Intervarsity Press, 2002)

Scripture also illustrates why we must guard against entitlement thinking. Jeremiah 17:9 notes the following: The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it? I must guard my heart against wanting what I cannot have, for when I think I deserve certain things or special treatment, I am sliding down the slippery slope of conflict.

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