Soul Care Issue #2: I have what I don’t need

While visiting our son’s home one evening, I played with Braydon, our grandson, while Lou Ann helped in the kitchen. Braydon has a lot of Matchbox cars and they were scattered all over the floor. I said to Braydon, “You really have a lot of cars.” Without hesitation he said, “I need more.” Even at the young age of three, Braydon has become infected by materialism and I suffer from the same.

Having what I don’t need is a soulcare issue, for what I treasure will be reflected in how I spend my time and my money. What are some signs that I may suffer from a materialistic mindset? According to Tim Kasser, in The High Price of Materialism, here are some possible signs. Kasser says you may be materialistic if your feelings of personal worth are based on how much money you have or on how much stuff you have. He also observed that merely aspiring to have greater wealth or more possessions is likely to be associated with personal unhappiness. And, people with materialistic values report more symptoms of anxiety, greater risk of depression, and are more irritable than those less materialistic

In contrast, the writer of Proverbs made the following observation. (Proverbs 11:24-26): “There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right. But it leads to poverty. The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself. The people will curse him who withholds grain, but blessing will be on the head of him who sells it.”

A generous spirit is the solution to materialism. Am I generous with my time, talents and treasures? This soulcare issue needs my constant attention.

Soul Care Issue #1: I want what I cannot have

Care of the soul is essential for Christian leaders and we nurture others but often neglect our own soul needs. Here is one significant soulcare issue for me. I want what I cannot have. Desiring what I cannot have leads to sinful choices and significant conflict in my relationships.

The Preacher also experienced this. Ecclesiastes 2:10 – ff: Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure. For my heart rejoiced in all my labor; and this was my reward from all my labor. He could have whatever he wanted and his experience is an example of entitlement thinking.

In his book, Steering Clear, Earl Wilson observed that entitlement thinking usually begins with a simple thought. I deserve to be able to do this. He noted that this justification takes either a positive or negative bent; I deserve this because I have done so much good (positive entitlement), or I deserve this because I have been treated so poorly (negative entitlement). Entitlement is a deep-seated belief that I am special and above the rules, and also that I should be treated as special and should never have to endure hardships that others endure. As a character issue, entitlement falls somewhere between selfishness and arrogance. Simply stated, entitlement includes giving yourself permission to do things that will bring great harm to God, to those you love and to yourself. (Steering Clear: Avoiding the Slippery Slope to Moral Failure. Downers Grove: Intervarsity Press, 2002)

Scripture also illustrates why we must guard against entitlement thinking. Jeremiah 17:9 notes the following: The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it? I must guard my heart against wanting what I cannot have, for when I think I deserve certain things or special treatment, I am sliding down the slippery slope of conflict.